If you’re into this kind of thing!

OK, so it seems to me that every time I visit Ubiquitous Jess in London, she seems to have some new sort of light fitting or snazzed up item for the flat that she just bought with her beau. She has a pink (yes, PINK!) chandelier, AAAAAND a black one too.

Well, when I came across this site for chandeliers and other lighting intallations, I had to think of her… This site is amazing – their collection of fine art lamps make me want to swoon, and go out to get a mortgage I really can’t afford…

And in a land filled with Ikea lighting dullness, the way is lit (if you’ll please pardon the terrible pun) by designers like George Kovacs and Forecast. I fear if I’m not careful, I might turn into a tragic lighting geek. I already spent a good 2 years of my life being a bead-geek, but at least beads are affordable for students. Lighting could become an expensive hobby – I doubt many students would be able to afford much in the Kichler collection for example, but hey, a girl can dream can’t she?

In other news, I’ve become hooked on Ugly Betty, Edinburgh is still intensely beautiful, and it recently has become even more so by the arrival of m’darling Mads, an old friend from high school who’s moved to Auld Reekie for the next two years. She and I have a little agreement – every fortnight I get to give her a wee lesson in The Way Of The Computer Geek – aka Teh Internetz 4 Dumeez (though Mads is anything but a dumee!) – and in return she gets to take me out on the town. It’s a fair split, cause Mads is not so much into Teh Internetz, and I’m not so much into going out on the town. So we’re contributing to expanding each others’ comfort zones.

Or something.

Greetings Starfighter… You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Zur and the Kodan Armada.

These words, and every last inflection, will probably be seared into the minds of every geek around my age – the most recogniseable quote from what is quite possibly one of my all time favorite movies. But it’s one of those gems of a movie that you forget you’d ever seen, until someone mentions it and aaaaall of a sudden, all those memories come flooding back.

Well today Greig – the new man in my life – once again proved that he is worthy of dating such a geek as myself. Yes, I know, I’ve kept a bit quiet about him, didn’t want to throw him into the deep end before I’d checked that he had his floaties on. Though you may have noticed him in a cameo appearance in the Tale of the New Computer.

Aaanyway, Greig managed to garner significant geek points when he dragged out an old copy of The Last Starfighter on VHS. Ooooh, the JOY! Ooooh, the laughter at lines which have floated in my mind since 1984, though their origins forgotten. Oooooh, the wonder at the special effects, which seemed to be WELL beyond their time. And OMG, the MUSIC! They just don’t write rousing theme tunes like the used to, duckies…

OK, so maybe the dialogue was a little hokey. Perhaps some of the acting was a little stilted.

But C’MON! What geek can resist the fantastical tale of Alex Rogan, the (way hot!) trailer trash earth boy with aspirations above his situation. He beats the record on a Space Invaders style arcade game at his trailer park, and suddenly finds himself being recruited to the Star League by an alien called Centari. Oooh, and then it’s all aliens and drama and dog-fights in space and single handedly defending the galaxy (including Earth) from Zur and the Kodan Armada.

Alas, it obviously didn’t do as well in teh cinemas as it might have done, because despite uber-baddie Zur fleeing in an escape pod while Alex and his alien co-pilot Grig decimate the Kodan Armada with their space fighter, no sequel was ever forthcoming.

Well, here’s my vote, here and now. With the recent spate of remaking/sequelising TV shows 25 years on from their original airdate (I’m talking about YOU, Battlestar Galactica, and YOU, Blakes 7!) it’s time to BRING BACK THE LAST STARFIGHTER!

I want more adventures of Alex Rogan, and his alien co-pilot Grig. I want a TV series which explores what had the potential to be a fascinating culture.

Who’s with me?

… Or How To Tenderise Your Dinner

So it’s 5pm at the office. Most people have headed off by this stage, but I stay till 5.30 to man the phones.

*ring ring* goes the phone. (actually, it’s more like a cacophony of different rings from the handset and base unit, but for the purposes of today, we shall say that it rings. Ok?)

It’s Simon on the other end. This is Simon, the diabolical mastermind behind much of the fundraising for the venerable charity I work for. In our barmier moments (that’s barmy as in Crazy, not balmy as in Anywhere But Scotland…) Simon has been known to put on his best Doctor Evil face and cackle, “One Million Pounds”. It’s usually on a Friday afternoon and we’re about ready to go home. Honestly, usually we’re doing very serious and devoted work. Really we are.

Ahem.

Aaaanyway, it’s Simon on the phone. Simon had LITERALLY left the building, but he’s calling with one of the crazier requests I’ve had since joining this fine establishment.

“Charlotte, it’s Simon. I left some Sea Bass in the fridge in the kitchenette.”

At this point I roll my eyes, thinking that he was going to try and wind me up by getting me to bring it down the 2 flights of stairs to him. So I giggle, realising that he’s probably out in the carpark behind our office, and I say tartly, “what, do you want me to throw it out the window to you?”

This of course is a LUDICROUS suggestion. As you can see on the left, the carpark is far below, three or four stories (the street level is higher than the carpark at the back of the building). I’d not have thought to really throw the fish out the window. But as I look out the window, there’s Simon, waving his arms like a little ant far below, ready to catch the flying fish.

I should mention that Simon has a habit of throwing things around the office. He’s actually quite a good throw, and I’m a decent catcher, especially when it comes to phone handsets being tossed backwards and forwards. It should be noted, however, that the opposite is not true. Whenever I throw a phone to Simon, things tend to go slightly awry, and there’s a degree of fumbling involved. Dunno if it’s my skills lacking as a thrower, or whether Simon’s just lousy at catching. Or a combo of the two.

At any rate, it seems to bode badly for the fish.

So with a laugh I tell Jonathan (who’s still in the office) of the plan, and soon return from the kitchen with a bundle of fresh fish wrapped in newspaper and a flimsy plastic bag. I feel like I’ve stepped into an episode of a bad American sitcom which thrives on visual slapstick comedy.

“This fish is going to go SPLAT!” I say to Jonathan. He laughs, and we both lean out the window to see Simon in the carpark far below, ready and waiting to recieve his fish.

After haggling a little on positioning, and much laughter from Jonathan and me, I let fly, and the sea bass sails through the air (plummets, more like), makes solid contact in Simon’s waiting clutches, and then slips through his hands and makes even solider contact with the ground.

SPLAT!

Fortunately for Simon’s family, waiting hungrily at home, the fishmonger wrapped that sea bass carefully, cause I didn’t see any fishy spots on the carpark. I hope the meat is nicely tenderised this evening!

Here’s one for the pirate fans – I’m talking to you, Mark Saul!

OK, so I found this cool site which sells party supplies, and I don’t think I’ve seen a website like it! Makes me wish I had kids so that I could throw them a killer party!

You can get bulk supplies, like bead necklaces by the gross (ie a dozen dozen – 144!). You can also get magnificently bushy stick-on moustaches. But I think that my fave would have to be the poirate hat and wig (pictured on the right). Makes me think of that fabulous gig we had last summer at the Pirates & Fairies party at Solfest… Happy sigh, them’s be the days…

I do believe, however, that this November, my final birthday in my 20s (eek!) I may need to get some of this poirate gear, and have a big poirate bash with m’mates… *does celebratory poirate jig* What’s more, I found this coupon company (thanks to my sponsors!) that offers free shipping from the US on orders over $60! (And that’s not the only party supplies store on the coupon site (am I starting to sound like a Demtel Ad? (can I use this many parentheses? (Why not?!)))) Arrr, it’s a steal!

Oh, one other thing before I sign off – my delightful parents came for a lightning visit last week, we had an entirely marvellous time visiting relatives (I have a humourous wee vid of me and my crazy second cousins here in Edinburgh, which I shall post on YouTube in due course), and my mum has posted some pics of her adventures on her blog, here. There’s a wonderful one of my godmother and me in a stunning greenhouse full of flowers, and some magnificent Wiltshire countryside vistas.