Mar 16
Back on that horse…
Online dating – the way of the future? Or just really, really sad?
So I’ve been single again now for almost a year, and every now and then, I think to myself, “yeah, it’d be nice to have a man in my life who’s not a work colleague”.
But I’ve only been on one date during that time, and that was… shall we say one date was enough? Sweet guy, I s’pose, but that kind of puppydog intensity just makes me nervous. Not to mention that we had absolutely nothing in common. I met that boy in a pub, and I was drunk enough to give out my number.
But I’m not one to go out much, and when I do, I’m much more interested in having a good time with my girlfriends (who are an intensely interesting and amusing bunch) than I am in picking up. And no, I’m not gay. Except if it was Claudia Black. Or perhaps Katee Sackhoff (aka Starbuck) from Battlestar Galactica.
So how do you meet boys these days, if you don’t go out? The answer that so many people are turning to these days is found not in the personals section of the newspaper, but on thousands of dating sites, some free, some claiming to be free, and some charging anywhere from “a decent amount” to “a kings ransom”.
Now, I’ve had experience with online dating before. I’ve had dates from RSVP.com in Melbourne, met some lovely guys, but not had the kind of success that I’ve heard other people having (ie buying houses together, getting married – if you class that as “success”). I’m signed on to a few now, but most of the ones which are any good, cost money. In fact I’ve only seen one free one which had decent design, and of course, it’s in the US. But here’s the thing. If an online dating site’s free, then the person it will attract will be the person who’s not really interested in really finding a partner – they usually just sign up for the blague, and then end up stringing you along with endless excuses, acting interested EVEN when I give up sending them emails, but then not following through with the promise of meeting up for drinks (you know who you are, boys). What’s that all about?
Stupid boys.
Aaaaanyway. Am going out tonight with the girls (and Ubiquitous Jessie is coming up from London for some Edinburgh Fun) and I have decided that it being St Paddy’s Day weekend, I’m going to at least be receptive to the idea of men on the radar.
One last thing that struck me as odd – I just thought I’d mention something interesting about the graphics on this US site, which makes me wonder about racial divides in America (or perceived racial divides). There are four pictures of couples up the top – a caucasian couple, an arab/indian couple, an asian couple, and a black couple. No racial mixing. Just blatant photographic apartheid. There’s a LOT of mixed race couples here in the UK, and an increasing number in Australia. US readers, help me out – is there an unspoken disapproval of mixed race couples in the US, or is this site just creating boxes where none exist?
6 comments6 Comments so far
Leave a comment
In ‘The Olden Days,’ or even now-a-days in some societies, your parents would have got a match-maker to sort your future life out. And perhaps given you lots of choices, maybe, like ‘thisOneIsAReallyGoodTiddliwinksPlayerAndSelfCleaningUpCook’ or ‘thatOneIsAGungHoComputerGeekAndLikesCats’ etc.
Is that you volunteering, mother-dear?
I’ll have a closer look at the gung-ho computer geek who likes cats, if you please!
*giggle*
I’d say that the site is creating boxes–I think interracial dating stopped being really controversial in the US in the 1960s. Obviously you’ll always have your neo-Nazi types, and there are people who are concerned about maintaining their ethnic identity and so feel they have to stick with people from their group, but they are in the minority. My brother’s in an interracial marriage, and they’ve never gotten any crap for it–and they live in Texas.
I find that OKcupid has a decent matching system and a lot of members. Been on a couple of dates, met some interesting people – no major hits, but that’s probably just me.
Cheers,
Arwen
Hey there Miss Charlotte. I am (as you know) in the Deep Sowth, and interracial couples are common here. I have noticed a big difference in just a couple of decades as this was not talked about openly when I was a little girl, and now raises no eyebrows except with my grandmother’s generation. I think there still is some stigma, but I’ve never seen anyone openly discriminated against for this.
L’Ann
Comment re Polly’s comment: those of us too scared to go to the USA judge it by what we see on the television. I rarely see mixed marriages or relationships on US shows.